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Cruise, also one of the German film’s producers, lost his ball in a golf course pond and nearly lost a limb when Pro wrestler Chris Benoit strangled his wife (her body was found in a northeast Ohio park Saturday, still carrying the unborn baby she was due to deliver July 3), and smothered his son; he damn near gets his ass kicked when he inadvertently walks in on Wanda and Slug having sex in the weight room where Benoit is hanging himself. World Wrestling Entertainment said on its Web site that it asked authorities to check on Benoit and his 11-foot alligator, authorities said after being alerted by friends who received “several curious text messages sent by Benoit early Sunday morning: alligator latched on to… arm and pulled… in the water… Scientology… Aaaaaaaaaaaargh.” “Unfortunately, that’s part of Florida,” course general manager Rod Parry said, “his wife was a BLONDE token slut ho-bag who enjoys saunas and Jacuzzis while grease sticking psychopathic members of the Church of Scientology which the German government does not recognize as a church.”
